Where do we go wrong?

It has been almost a month now, that every day when I switch to a news channel on TV, I get updated on a new rape case – and most likely with a minor. Media keeps sharing the blurred images / videos / CCTV footages and talking about various aspects of rape – victim, culprits, authority, laws, society, reforms, etc. etc. and I change the channel. Yes! I change the channel as I am too exhausted to witness the after effects of watching such incidents and the way we are tackling it – as a society.

Hence, wanted to pen down here.

We, as a society is undoubtedly evolving – to good. Yes! You are not mistaken while reading, nor it is a typo, I actually said “good”. I am referring to the era when a girl was restricted by her own parents, if a neighbour's girl got raped. She was advised to skip school, stay composed and not smile all the time, recheck on her wardrobe, focus more on studies, skip spending time outside home, coming back home before sunset, etc. etc. Even then, if the girl faced molestation / rape, she was cursed within family for failing to preserve her honour, defaming her family, put under house arrest, made to marry any of the quickest possible match, undergo illegal DNCs, even suicides – in short anything but to lodge a legal FIR.

Then came a revolution, when a girl got brutally raped in Delhi in 2012 and the media left no stone unturned to bring out every possible detail of the incident – be it dramatic representation of the incident.

Media, at that point of time, also shared some thought provoking messages to make people understand that it is not actually the victim but the guilty to feel ashamed after rape. All women centric organizations suddenly got re-activated. Everyone wanted the culprits to be hanged till death. Undoubtedly, the number of notified rape cases started increasing. Did this mean that society was getting worse and rapes were increasing? NO!

This simply meant that the already happening incidents were now getting actually reported and added into the crime database. It nowhere indicated an increase of the crime but the notification of crime. It was now #trending.

So, we have actually come a step closer to being fair – from victim ashamed society to victim supporting or rather sympathising society. Hence, evolved to grow towards “good”.

But, we still need to go far better. And, I am not talking only about India. Although, our media keeps claiming that India is one of the country with highest number of rapes, but actual statistics show that India does not hold a place in the Top Ten Rape affected countries (as per data until 2015). This does not mean that we have scope to go worse either. India still suffers a rape every minute – as quoted by many agencies recently. It’s a huge and alarming number. While you end up reading this note, at least 2 girls would have been raped in India alone.

The 2015 National Crime Record Bureau (NCRB) data (the most recent data available) shows that in 95 percent of all rape cases, the offender knew the victim. This information itself signifies a major flaw of society, where we need to work upon.

What we actually need to do is –

1.       Trust our girls

2.       Empower them – education, health, employment

3.       Unload the girls from the burden of ‘family honour’ – Let’s be more sensible.

4.       Free publicity to the victim should be given on TV channels, social media; make them trending with their clear photos - #RapistRamSingh #DeathForRamSingh instead of #Asifa #Geeta #Nirbhaya

5.       All district level courts to have a separate section to deal with rape cases – fast track rape punishment decisions and make the judgements cruel to set examples. I am still trying to understand why #India allows death penalty for raping a 12-year-old girl and not for a girl who gets raped right next day of her 12^th birthday or a woman who gets raped after her 60^th birthday. Does the damage depend on age? Really?

6.       When our young boys watch their fathers treating their mothers badly – either they start hating their fathers OR they understand that this is how females are to be treated. So, fathers – start respecting your ladies AND ladies – please stop tolerating misbehaviour, be it your “devta” husband.

7.       Ladies and gentlemen, please stop passing comments or checking out a girl wearing short skirt – coz you may not realize but your younger ones are smartly observing and taking notes. In fact, try ignoring your wild horses once. Trust me, it is pretty OK to NOT check her out from top to bottom and give that smile to your partner followed by a second look on her.

And last but not the least, rape is not at all about being Hindu, Muslim, Christian, Jew, a minor, an adult, well dressed, uneducated, scheduled caste, dark complexion, found alone on a secluded place, out of house after 9PM, home alone, driving home alone at night after work, choosing an auto rickshaw to reach home along with an infant in arms, etc.

A rape is a rape – a devastating crime which leads to an inerasable mark on the body and soul of the female.

Let’s all stand united against this crime and not let anyone divide us and deviate focus from eradicating this crime off our motherland.